Whether it’s wrong or not, the truth is that we all lie—and we do it somewhat often. According to a 2022 survey published in the journal Human Communication Research, the average person lies about once a day. 

A lie is a statement that is deliberately meant to mislead. Some people feel that any lie—no matter how well-intentioned or minor—is morally wrong. We depend on each other to be honest, and deceiving those we care about can damage our relationships. Plus, if we can’t assume that others are telling the truth, how can we trust anything we hear or read?

You’ve probably told a few fibs that seemed harmless—but were they really? Telling tiny lies, experts say, makes us more likely to tell bigger, more harmful lies in the future. “The problem with small lies is that they accumulate and we lose track of them,” says Howard Temple, who administers lie detector tests. 

Plus, once you tell a lie (say, claiming Travis Kelce is your second cousin), you might have to tell more lies to keep up the charade (you’re going to Kansas City to visit him over winter break). 

Before you know it, you’ll be terrified of running into your friends over the holidays because you’re supposed to be in Missouri hanging with Kelce.

Still, lying may have its place—especially when it’s done to protect someone’s feelings. “Most of the time, being kind to someone is more important than telling the absolute truth,” says Jane Frank, a psychologist in New York City.

It turns out that lying might even be good for your social life. White lies can help you deal with awkward situations and make others around you feel better, says Robert Feldman, a professor who researches lying. In this way, he says, lying could be seen as a valuable social skill.

Perhaps the key is to think about why you’re lying. There’s a difference between lying to spare yourself—like faking illness to miss a big test—and lying to spare someone else. 

Of course, even lying out of kindness can be complicated. It would be cruel to tell your sister she can’t sing. But if she plans to audition for The Voice, being honest and telling her she needs to hone her skills first could save her from colossal disappointment.

So what do you tell your friend about his horrendous haircut? The truth or a lie? 

Well, there is a third option: Don’t say anything. Instead, “accidentally” drop your books, have a sudden coughing fit, and change the subject. 

Then go buy him a nice hat.